unbeknownst to me

Unbeknownst to me until my 30s, I've been dappling in yoga all my life...stretching my body to get free from my mind, repeating self-made mantras, tuning-in with certain phrases/sounds.
 
My first foray into “official” yoga was writing and doing PR for an internationally known yogi. Part of my pay was getting to attend a teacher training in Joshua Tree, CA. 
 
It was here that I realized while I didn’t know what I was doing, the I AM in me did. Issues cropped-up, traumas that I’d “dealt with” in counseling and been re-sealed started to crack open. I was physically ill much of the time I was there, emotionally drained, yet moving into an awareness that it was all not only “ok”, but meant to be.
 
And, in a spur-of-the-moment situation, this yogi asked me to lead a section of the class. I nearly got tossed my last meal. Still, I was surrounded by the most amazing women who had been supporting me and so, like so many other times in my life when I’ve been thrown into the wilderness without a thoughtful clue, I did it.
 
I eased onto the mat and started speaking and making-up terms for asanas and the group seemed to be following, even giggling (appropriately) as I talked about the mountain pretzel pose (reclining pigeon). 
 
When I finished there was silence. Panic set back in… until I saw smiles and heard them saying how I “belonged on the mat”, teaching, they saw the Light around me.
 
I share this because I did NOT become a yoga teacher. After finding the perfect yoga teachers for me locally and sitting through a few teacher trainings, I decided that I needed yoga to be “mine” – my tool for healing, restoration, peace, grounding. 
 
Through Jamie Shane and Jessica Hesser, I discovered Kundalini yoga and awakened to more of my Self. I experienced the deepest moment listening to Jai Jagdeesh's In Dreams. I met healer Mystical Matthew who worked on me and when done I said, “Man, your hands got so hot” and he sweetly replied, “No, that was your energy.” 

I "saw" things/people that "weren't there" and then much of that faded away. But, other things came forward. I took Advanced Chemistry of Essential Oils, got Pn1 certified (nutrition) and completed certifications in Animal Reiki and as a Reiki Master. 

Still, I do PR, communications, events, etc. while also offering other "woo woo" services. It just is what it is.
 
I tell you all this because we ALL are awakening to more of our Selves. Not our personalities, or beliefs, but a deeper Knowingness. There may not be full clarity in mind, but there is an expanse of Awareness as Source embodied as me, you, we. 
 
There are times I feel so disconnected. Meditation and things "don't work like they did in the past." I miss some of that woo.

But, I was on the mat today when Jai Jagdeesh’s version of Ardas Bhaee came on and even as I was rolling around, my mind saw giant pillars of golden light rising out of the earth. Each pillar was someone…a network of Light across Ohio, the US, then the Ukraine, Russia and the world.
 
Somehow, it was clear to me that WE are those pillars of iridescent white/golden light and that it is LOVE. Not some romantic, butterflies and pink hearts love.

Rather, a white Bison moving steadfastly forward amid a blinding blizzard. Archangel Michael clearing entanglements with a sword of Truth. A Ganesh built like "The Rock" walking by our sides.
 
We do NOT have to be a yogi, a coach, spiritual leader to Be the Change. We can devote our life to family, friends, work “outside the woo woo” and still BE the Light because, simply, we already ARE the Light.
 
We already are the healers, gurus, sages and guides. We don’t have to Know more. We simply follow our Hearts and know wherever we are is exactly where we are supposed to be until we are moved, guided, led by our Hearts (or life) to be somewhere else.
 
For some of us, this IS the path! 
 
 And, as far as the mantra…Ardas Bhaee is literally the energy of miracles, healings and blessings…”The Prayer to answer all Prayers.” 
 
So, today, I go about my business "as usual" because THAT is my calling. Today, and every day, we ARE THE PILLARS OF LIGHT and our very presence is healing this planet and bringing the dawning of a new world.

See the pillars rising and connecting as a network of circuits, like roots connecting the entire earth in the highest Love frequency and know that each day more pillars are lighting-up, "coming on-line", and more connections are being made.
 
If we must hold on to anything, let us do our work holding onto Being Light – as Light as we can Be in such tumultuous, painful, fearful times. 

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